I wish my dad was here
by Susan Burd

This is the speech written and read by Sue, bob's daughter, at his funeral on January 7th 2007.

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All our lives Peter and I never had to worry about public speaking – whenever there was any public speaking to be done, he would be up there at the drop of a hat. Many of you here will have heard his stories 2, 3 or 4 times – but a story he only told me once and not so long ago was how, as a young boy, he looked forward to winter evenings when it got dark early and he could walk around the streets looking into people’s homes before they drew the curtains, This was so he could catch glimpses of family life, something he knew nothing about. He was an only child, born to elderly parents and a very eccentric mother and he longed to experience a happy family life.

And then, when he was about 6 years old he went to Sunday School with an older boy – just to get out the house. At first he went to the Methodist Sunday School but somebody pulled the chair away from him when he sat down and so the next week he thought he would try the Moravians. He immediately felt at home and what better for a boy wanting to feel part of a family than a church known as Unitas Fratrum where everyone called each other brother and sister. This began his lifelong association with the Moravian Church. During the war the minister’s wife here at Hornsey, Vera Britten, wrote regularly to all the young members serving in the forces and I know he found this a great comfort and inspiration. When he entered the ministry after the war he was welcomed into the Moravian family in every congregation.

At school he discovered sport and in particular – team games. Here he again discovered a feeling of belonging that came with being part of a team and in cricket he found a team game that could go on for 5 days! Cricket became a lifelong passion and allowed him to become part of another family. He was a Middlesex League umpire with Richmond Cricket Club for 20 years and until only 2 or 3 years ago was umpire for the Law Society Cricket Team. He loved being part of the Law Society Cricket Team and became a vice president and more importantly, a friend of all the team members, getting to know them and their families. Well into his eighties they took him on overseas tours to Philadelphia, the far east and Portugal - sometimes against their better judgement. He frequently needed medical attention whilst on tour! As he went on umpiring into his eighties I would often say to him ‘I think this should be your last season’ and he would quietly, but firmly, reply ‘I don’t think so’. One day in exasperation I said to him ‘You’ll probably die on the cricket pitch’ to which he replied ‘I hope so’. Well this wasn’t to be but it wasn’t for want of trying! At 15 he was hit on the head by a cricket ball which was to lead to him becoming epileptic many years later. Whilst batting for Lower Wyke Moravians he had an epileptic fit and was carried off. To the other team’s dismay he insisted when he came round that this did not constitute being out and went back and finished his innings. About 10 years ago he had a heart attack whilst umpiring. When I went to visit him afterwards he was looking very cheerful – ‘It was marvellous’ he said ‘we were playing against a London Hospitals team and most of them were doctors – they looked after me splendidly’.

Through the Moravian Church he met my mum who was one of eight children and suddenly he had a new large family. He loved having brothers and sisters in law and later, absolutely loved being ‘Uncle Bob’ to 18 nephews and nieces [and to quite a few Summer school residents too!]. He started a family tree and kept up the family Bible – keeping a record of the births, deaths and marriages. He loved family gatherings and particularly going to Ruth’s 90 birthday party earlier this year.

For nearly 21 years he has been part of another family. He and my mum were part of the first intake of residents to the newly built Len Warren House. He has been superbly looked after there and was the last surviving original occupant. 2 of the carers, Joy and Michele have also been there from the start and looked after my mother too. They have become like daughters to him and have welcomed him into their families. Over the years all the carers and wardens have made him feel special and have laughed at his jokes which he would insist on telling them every time they went into his flat.

He was a wonderful father and grandfather – unconventional but utterly dependable. 2 or 3 people have recently said to me that we had to share our parents with their congregations. But it didn’t feel like that to us. Until he lost his sight almost 3 years ago he came to nearly every rugby, hockey, cricket or football match any of us ever played in. He never had a car and would find his way by train, bus or foot to remote grounds. On 2 occasions in recent years he stopped in a café to ask directions and the owner got out his car and drove him to the ground. He was our greatest supporter in whatever we did. I never heard him say a cross word. He was just a lot of fun. He endeared himself to our friends who also welcomed him into their families.
So we, his immediate family, would like to thank all of you here today for fulfilling that small boy’s childhood dream of experiencing a happy family life. He would have been very impressed by the turnout. He would long ago have done a head count, or counted the feet and divided by 2 as he used to say.

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